Garden Out of Ashes

I wore my flaws like feather boas,

Danced with the ghosts in my wavering mind.

Built my bed on a fault line, darling,

And dreamt it wouldn’t shake this time.

Every mirror was a courtroom,

Every truth a loaded gun —

I called it living, but it felt like dying,

And I thought the war was never done.

But I’m done with cigarettes for breakfast,

And wine glass moons at noon.

I’m planting lilacs in the cracks

Where I used to bloom too soon.

Now I’m building a garden out of ashes,

Filling my lungs with a softer air.

I’m not a saint, but I’m past the crashes —

My love for me is finally there.

I was the storm, now I’m the shelter,

I’m the truth that I once denied.

Oh, the fire didn’t end me,

It just burned the hurt out of my life.

I kissed the chaos like a lover,

Told myself it kept me free.

But the thrill was just a thief in silk,

Stealing all the best of me.

Now the mirror’s not a weapon,

It’s a window to the sun —

And I see a girl with golden roots

Who knows her war is finally won.

I keep my petals sharp as diamonds,

And my kindness wrapped in steel.

No one’s gonna drink me empty,

No one’s telling me what’s real.

I’ll be velvet, I’ll be thunder,

I’ll be oceans, I’ll be skies —

I’ll be anything I want to be

In my brand-new paradise.

I’m building a garden out of ashes,

Every bloom a battle cry.

I’ve made peace with every scar now,

They just paint the truth inside.

I was the storm, now I’m the shelter,

I’m the love I was looking for.

Oh, I’m done with self-destruction —

I don’t live there anymore.